After a week of binging... somewhat, I'm grateful to report that I neither gained nor lost weight last week. In appreciation to the gods for watching my weight while I wasn't, I have rededicated myself to a clean diet as of this past Tuesday.
I have a lot on my plate right now so I don't have the bandwidth to manage food the way I'd like. Instead, I've created a plan for myself that requires little bandwidth. I'm eating the same thing everyday until I run out of ingredients, then I'll pick something new and head to the market.
It may sound strange, but I'm very dedicated to it. I'm also trying to
look at food in a more neutral fashion because as it is for many people, food tends to be more emotional than it should be for me and right now I'm facing a lot of challenges in my personal life that could tank my weight loss goals. Besides, weight management, which is more the way I like to look at this since I have NO intentions of EVER finding this weight again, is a life long thing, I need to learn new habits and how to deal with food in a healthy way. I spent the last year with my focus elsewhere, I'm not wasting another one. I don't mind the weight coming off slowly, I just don't want to go another year and not lost anything.
I believe successful weight loss does require focus, but since I have very little to spare at the moment, I am setting myself a plan and simply forcing myself to stick to it while my focus is elsewhere... I HOPE this works. I'm using my intuitive plan, only on a bit bigger scale in that I'm not following it moment by moment, but when I planned what I would eat, I listened to the deeper parts of myself because I truly believe we know everything we need to about health and weight loss, we just over ride our better instincts for the latest news from the diet industry. I'm not going to do that ever again. I will lose this weight and I will do it my own way, naturally.
So my plan...
- Water (always necessary and I do try to make it a priority)
- NO SODA (this one trips me up way too much, but I have been soda free for over 24 hours at this point so... yay me!)
- Green Tea (I do NOT like green tea... as of yet, but I keep drinking it. I'm drinking one cup a day, but I want to get up to three.)
- Breakfast (I'm historically bad at breakfast but I know without doubt it makes a HUGE difference on my weight loss)
- Changing my comfort habits, but I'm stepping them down rather than just going from one extreme to the other.
So for now, breakfast consists of 2 eggs, I've been scrambling them with a splash of milk and top them with a large helping of sauteed vegetables, like mushrooms, celery, red and orange peppers. I have my green tea, ONE slice of toast with all fruit spread, and 6oz of greek yogurt topped with pineapple and assorted berries.
It's a TON of food!
But I'm eating it slowly one item at a time, then dinner has been lean protein (either chicken, turkey or ground beef) I'm trying to buy only organic meat because I do think that makes a difference to how our body reacts and processes the food. I add that to another ton of different vegetables, broccoli, cauliflower, zucchini, onion and tomato and a half avocado this week.
I'm staying away from sauces and dressings other than balsamic vinegar and citrus, fresh squeezed from a lime, lemon or orange.
So far it's been good, but there are definitely cravings and emotional low points that are my biggest hurdles and though Wren wants to be there for me, this subject I'm finding is excruciatingly vulnerable for me and I feel guarded and the need to keep walls up leaves me feeling isolated and at the moment, that's the worst part.
If I get through this week and experience weight loss, I'll be so damn proud of myself and that in itself is a very good reason to keep going! :)
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